First off, thanks to everyone who comes to the blog and reads what I have to say about our bicycle extravaganza. Second, there is no fucking way we’re quitting!! Unless one if us gets hit by a car, falls deathly ill, or we get snowed in until spring, we are DOING IT!
So why in the hell would we fake quit then? Well, for one, it’s funny. Two, we found some dudes on a bicycle forum that said we were idiots, we had more money than brains, and that we were screwed (forum here). At that point we pretty much felt obligated to give them exactly what they were hoping for so we could sit back and watch them have a feeding frenzy on the two random guys that were trying to crash their private party. Apparently they forgot that everyone has known how to ride a bike since they were 5 and that it isn’t rocket science. You pedal, press play on your iPod, pedal some more, and then hope there’s some playoff baseball to watch when you’re tired and done for the day. This notion that it’s dangerous and only for the thoroughly prepared and experienced is total bullshit. Anyone who is willing to take the time off and has the money for the gear has a decent chance of making it. We were going to sit around for few months and “visualize it” like “Bonsainut” said, but we just decided to actually do it instead.
I think it’s more dangerous riding my bike across the Williamsburg bridge and into Manhattan every day for work. And yes, we are fully aware that we are heading into the colder part of the country in november. I am pretty sure the east coast weather won’t surprise me, I live there, but thanks for the advise from Laguna Beach.
Only one problem though. After we posted that we quit and the word got out, there was mostly praise from cyclists who said that we had at least tried something that most people don’t. Aside from the “who didn’t see this coming” comments, we were pretty taken aback by all of the positive feedback. The ones that really surprised us though were the people who decided they would pull Heath’s status in skateboarding because he only rode 1500 miles on a bicycle. So Alex, head out there and backside 360 the mega ramp, or backside noseblunt UCI, then give me a ring and I’ll give you Heath’s number so you can call him a pussy yourself. Oh, and learn how to spell.
So if anyone is bummed that we tricked you…….chin up, it’s all in good fun and we needed some Biggy-Tupac drama to spice this blog up. You’ll be happy to know that immediately after the fake post we had a really tough day. Headwinds, flat tire, and a shitty road. Karma’s a bitch, but worth it.
WE'RE REALLY DOING IT 
Yes!!! I’m so psyched you guys aren’t quitting! You guys rule.
Go get ’em. Ride on!
#1. Love you bros.
#2. Checked out the Laguna blog, and still cant stop laughing.
Love that fighting spirit, boys!
I was gonna call bullshit yesterday but didn’t wanna spoil the fun. The ticket lady blew your cover.
I felt bad when I read the fake quitting post. Heath you looked so down. Thanks Jeff for keeping us updated. Safe travels.
awesome, i was hoping it was all bullshit
LOL… I was one of the people bashing you when you “quit”.
You have to understand – most people never get a chance to do what you are doing. I don’t think anyone WANTED you to fail, but when you announced you were quitting and made it sound like there were personal issues everybody was like “wtf – didn’t they KNOW what it would take to ride across the country?”
Regardless, good for you. Keep grinding and send out lots of updates.
By the way – can you send out more map updates because I have no idea where you are atm.
And you guys need to focus more on riding, and not what a bunch of people are saying on some lame web site 🙂
Cheers!
bahahahahahaha. awesome. cant wait to keep getting updates
im glad you guys are still killing it, and fuck those other assholes, they dont no the gay one and the germans determination, but so good you fuck with them, were all with ya, at least the ones who count
Hell yeah!
stunt blogging rules…. haha. haters can suck it, you guys are going all the way!!! ride safe…
Good to hear! I knew that amtrak ticket lady looked too happy…
this is whats upp, seriously
You guys are awesome. I’m Really enjoying your adventure and the updates. Very few people have the guts that you two have not only in this adventure but in every thing you do. Thinking of you and wishing you well.
You got me you bugger! Glad to hear your still ruling it, it certainly didn’t sound like the Jeff I remember. Go kick some ass!
YES YES YES !!!!
So fucking relieved! Wasn’t so much bummed about the cycling part as the going your own separate ways part, and the picture of Heath not looking into your camera, thought OMG, they’ve fucked up their friendship over the last good inner tube! Continued safe and happy trails!
Whew.
Hell Yeah! Love it.
man, you guys are fucking funny! really relieved your guys arent quitting too
Hey Jeff,
A) FUCK OFF
B) Tell Heath to FUCK OFF!
C) I can’t believe I fell for that.
D) I’m stoked you two are going on.
E) Most important, don’t listen to people on the internet. Cowards thrive in anonymity.
Fuck yeah!
I was a bit confused; I actually thought Heath would continue alone. Having enjoyed the amazing determination and the results he has graced us with since the late eighties I just couldn’t imagine him ever quitting.
Reading the blog you reference is just making my blood boil. It is what is wrong with america. People think they need an SUV to get a gallon of milk, elbow pads to ride rollerblades on the greenbelt, and getting off on how awesome they are because they know their shimano gear better than you guys. It’s a bike. Yes, it would be stupid if I tried to ollie half of what Heath does because I can’t even ollie 5 stairs, but it’s skating. It takes loads of skill and knowledge. You guys have determination. with determination one could ride a tricycle across the country.
I am pumped to keep checking back. This blog is by far the best because it has heart. Thanks!
Keep on trucking and stay warm!
Manuel
Three guys from the last post called it. I figured Heath was close enough to home base #2 that he’d trudge on. Good news is that I can tour America vicariously for a few more months.
I am so relieved!!!!!!!!
im sorry iwas hunover and i just got upset or somthing i dont even know i said that about heath thats fucked i feel liike a totall ass now my badd
YES!! GOOD ONE. People who post in forums are mostly retarded. You guys are gnarly, you got this.
Welcome to retard-dom.
YES! So into the Biggy – Tupac drama….now you can get back to “3000 miles across the continent – as the crow flies” hahaha
I’m really glad to hear that this was just a song that you wrote a long time ago…. a real long time ago, back in 94…….
I’m 33 and have been skating for 25 years.
I’ve recently had bilateral knee surgery, and consequently am spending as much time on the bike as possible. Of course, you are both an inspiration, just as Heath has been for more time than I care to remember. All the best to you both. Get ‘er done.
Haha. Love it. Get some! I hate those waspy lycra clad motherfuckers.
Fuck Yeah! If you’re hated you know you’re doing something right.
Stoked to keep following this blog. Good luck!
Last time i support you on quitting! hahaha
alex really? hung over? you’re a fucking dipshit. and for all of you people who actually thought a little wind would stop hk pubis? i mean come on have you not been paying attention to this freak for the past 18 years? he’s an unstoppable force of nature. jeffy’s pretty good too. and for all of the retards from the bike world, a truly sincere….FUCK YOU from all of us.
I particularly like how he didn’t even know he said that about heath…it’s a blog dude…go to previous post and read.
Thank god. I thought Heath had become a compulsive retiree. You guys are awesome.
you guuuuys……i gotta keep my eye on you two!
Yes!!! Bicycle beef is the best.
Wooooohoo!! So glad! By the time you get back to Brooklyn, we’ll be living there home-skillet! Then we can all celebrate the huge callouses you’ll have on your ass!
your flying with the eagles now !! you’ve fucked the crows!
Holy shit just catching up but duh, there is no quit in Vallee blood! You guys rock!
word up. keep on trucking.
awesome. glad to here it. that forum hate is some shit. y’all are a big inspiration, since way back reading Thrasher and Transworld, glad to see the story continues. keep on keepin on and good luck from Ohio
Fuck yeah. I did the whole west coast last summer (victoria,BC down to San Diego) on my Long Haul Trucker. Sleeping bag and skateboard on the back, Oregon parks every day, hot beans and a cold brew every night at the camp ground (or skatepark). KEEP KILLING IT GUYS.
YAAAAAAY!!!!!
the crazy bike dudes are not giving up!
upon closer reflection the ticket lady is smiling…should have called that.
so psyched you are continuing on your life affirming journey. I just can’t wait for snow updates.
😮
Fuck yeahhhhh back at it, thats sick.
If only Heath’s retirement was fake
fooled me! stoked you’re not quitting. if only heath’s retirement was a hoax too..
Hell yeah guys, keep it up!
HAHAHA, awesome idea! Fuck’em, I’ve been told “cyclists” take “cycling” too seriously, that’s why I like to smoke’em any chance I get. Keep on pedaling and keep on updating.
May I just echo Brett’s post;
Hey Jeff,
A) FUCK OFF
B) Tell Heath to FUCK OFF!
C) I can’t believe I fell for that.
D) I’m stoked you two are going on.
E) Most important, don’t listen to people on the internet. Cowards thrive in anonymity.
That’s perfection.
You bastards! I was so bummed for you. I’m glad it was a joke. I’m on STR all the time, anyone of the people that made fun were only doing so because they need a way to make themselves feel better.
I thought heath had become addicted to retiring. Once he got a taste he just couldn’t stop. You guys are a couple of turkeys.
Read those comments on that bike forum. Those guys seem like a bunch of high school principles…”planning”, “inexperienced”…
This blog rules! Ride on!
Thanks for the map.
Too funny. Very cool, I’m glad you guys are keeping the faith and pushing on.
I just rode my first Century a week ago and had to put up with the know-it-all types who think that they’re better than me because they spent more on their bikes and biking clothes than I did. While many of them are in fact great riders, I enjoyed passing a number of them in their pro-tour team kit; they on their $5k carbon fiber bike, me on a $700 6 year old aluminum bike. I’ve always dreamed of riding across the country, and expect that I will one day–probably when I’m retired or unemployed and, now, when my daughter is older (we have a 1 year old). When I do, it may be on my old Trek; I have the money to buy a top of the line carbon fiber bike, and it has been tempting. But I don’t need a Maybach or a Bugatti to drive to work and run errands…
Keep the faith boys and be good to yourselves and each other.
Fooled me. Trick photos worked. As for baseball playoffs…GO YANKEES. I know you both hate them, so put that to the pedals.
bwhahaha you guys are ruling – fuck the bike forums and behind the keyboard hero’s, you guys are doing well.
alex, you gotta be one of the biggest douchebags ever. go heath!
Fuck yeah! Good luck.
hyped you guys are still going for it!
good luck out there.
yes! I’m so stoked you guys didn’t quit! Fuck those other guys! Keep going dudes you got it!
first off…Job well done! so funny that you guys faked quitting. keep it up homies
So stoked you guys didn’t quit! Whoever hates on this is just bummed on their boring life. You guys rule, keep it going!
Well done! That website (socaltrailriders.org) is known throughout the region as a haven for douchebags. Good job calling them out!
it is true, if you can ride a bike you can ride your bike cross country. I did a bike/skate trip down the oregon coast to CA… I was commuting on my bike, but my first ride fully loaded was my first touring day – yeah it hurts at first, but you work through it. ROCK ON. Still jealous as I sit in an office during the last beautiful days of fall.
Dude, I belong to that forum, and while there’s some people who hold their opinions and their gear in way to much esteem, most of them are pretty cool. That being said, fucking with people is pretty funny shit. Keep on riding. I hope you inspire others to do the same. If I didn’t have a wife, kids, mortgage, etc.., I’d be leaving today. Good luck.
The best part about riding a bike is the constant forward movement. You guys can crash at my place if its on the way.
Hey fellas. F all those naysayers and get on with your adventure. Do this for yourself and not some dirtbag sitting behind a computer with nothing better to do then criticize those that feel like breaking beyond their personal boundaries. When I did my first cross country trip – it was just that – my FIRST cross country trip. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. Does that mean I should sit back and dream about doing some crazy adventure simply because I had never done it before? These people are idiots. Most of them probably have never even bike toured and don’t realize the amazing people you meet along the way. So what if you brake a chain – that means you have more money than brains? No, that simply means that you are temporarily without bike and your adventure still continues. You learn what is comfortable along the way. You learn your limits. You learn what little you need in life to actually be happy and to survive. That is the journey. That is why you are riding your bikes across the country. Be well.
In 1983 two friends and I, at 25, decided we were going nowhere fast in our mid-sized Indiana town. We took what little savings we had and bought bikes and gear and took off. No training. No real forethought. Learned what we needed to know on the road. It was great. Hard, but great. And in ’83 was something you didn’t see a lot of.
Anyway, I glanced over the forum you linked. They are the idiots.
I was so sad when I found out you were quiting but then you cold imagine my happiness wen I found out it was a joke.
You gave them a good lesson.I hope next time they will keep there mouth shot and stop saying those rude things.
awesome, i was hoping it was all bullshit